Workers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains!
--Karl Marx
And if freedom still does not dawn on my country for a long time to come, then the very reading and handing on of this book will be very dangerous, so that I am bound to salute future readers as well-- on behalf of those who have perished.
--Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
My son is 22 years old. If he had not become a Communist at 22, I would have disowned him. If he is still a Communist at 30, I will do it then.
--Georges Clemenceau
The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries.
--Winston Churchill
Communism doesn't work. It's against a basic law of nature: PEOPLE WANT TO OWN STUFF.
--Frank Zappa
Jellicle Cats come out to-night
Jellicle Cats come one come all
The Jellicle Moon is shining brightÄ
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball.
--T.S. Eliot
If I could only write I'd write a nasty letter to the Mayor if he could only read.
--A Bug (in Pogo)
Estragon: Qu'est-ce qu'on fait maintenant?
Vladimir: Je ne sais pas.
Est: Allons-nous-en.
Vlad: On ne peut pas.
Est: Pourquoi?
Vlad: On attend Godot.
Est: Cest vrai.
[Estragon: What'll we do now?
Vladimir: I don't know.
Est: Let's go.
Vlad: We can't.
Est: Why?
Vlad: We're waiting for Godot.
Est: That's true.
--Samuel Beckett
Guildenstern: Are you deaf?
Rosenkrantz: Am I dead?
Guil: Yes or no?
Ros: Is there a choice?
Guil: Is there a God?
Ros: Foul! No non sequiturs, three-two, one game all.
--Tom Stoppard
It's not much of a cheese shop, is it?
--John Cleese
Wherever you go... there you are.
--Buckaroo Banzai
So I've decided to be a very rich and famous person who doesn't really care about money, and who is very humble but who still makes a lot of money and is very famous, but is very humble and rich and famous...
--Linus
L'hypocrisie est un hommage que le vice rend à la vertu.
[Hypocrisy is the tribute which vice pays to virtue.]
--La Rochefoucauld
Dope will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no dope.
--Gilbert Shelton
I gave up drugs for this?
--John Wimber (of evangelicalism)
A priest asked, What is Fate, Master?
And he answered:
It is that which gives a beast of burden its reason for existence.
It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs.
It is that which has caused nations to build byways from City to City upon which carts and coaches pass, and
alongside which inns have come to be built to stave off Hunger, Thirst, and Weariness.
And that is Fate? said the priest.
Fate... I thought you said Freight, responded the Master.
That's all right, said the priest. I wanted to know what Freight was too.
--Kehlog Albran
The safest way to approach lava is to have another person with you and he goes first.
--Volcano photographer Villi Knudsen
Si vous voyez un banquier suisse sauter d'une fenêtre, sautez après lui. Il y a sûrement de l'argent.
[If you see a Swiss banker jump out of a window, jump after him. There's bound to be money in it.]
--Voltaire
Basically I don't care what people think of me. I'm not in the communications business.
--Mike Tyson
Russian men have a saying: "Women are like buses..." That's it.
--Yakov Smirnoff
If Christianity had asserted itself in Germany, six million Jews would have lived.
--Malcolm X
It will be one of the tragedies of Christian history if future historians record that at the height of the twentieth century the church was one of the greatest bulwarks of white supremacy.
--Martin Luther King Jr.
Whom the gods would destroy they first make mad with power.
--Charles Beard
"It does not take a long time to strike a man with Lightning," said Defarge.
"How long," demanded madame, composedly, "does it take to make and store the lightning?"
--Charles Dickens
Calvin: Every Saturday I get up at six and eat three bowls of Crunchy Sugar Bombs. Then I watch cartoons till noon, and I'm incoherent and hyperactive the rest of the day.
Hobbes: Does it work?
C: No brothers or sisters so far!
--Bill Watterson
Sooner or later you'll have to take off the bunny suit, kid-- then, I say, then where will you be? ...Oh, I get it-- you're overcome by my presence-- awed by the sight of a true king! By the reality of the last ruler of Melvinbone-- last lord of a dying race-- a wanderer that is... You getting all this down boy? Or am I going too fast for ya?
--Elrod, in Cerebus
Si ursus essem, ursus fabulans essem.
[If I were a bear, I'd be a talking bear.]
--Humez & Humez, Latina pro populo
To those who speak of a Pan-African union, I ask, What are we supposed to share? Each other's poverty?
--Félix Houphouët-Boigny
When the missionaries arrived, the Africans had the land and the missionaries had the Bible. They taught us to pray with our eyes closed. When we opened them, they had the land and we had the Bible.
--Jomo Kenyatta
Politics is the Entertainment Branch of Industry.
--Frank Zappa
Business ethics is to ethics as Monopoly money is to money.
--Harold Hendersen
I will never apologize for the United States of America-- I don't care what the facts are.
--George Bush, after the downing of an Iran Air jet by US military forces
I'm so old I can remember when the Dead Sea was only sick.
--Leon Lederman (director of Fermilab)
I don't want to attain immortality through my works. I want to get it by not dying.
--Woody Allen
Outside of a dog, man's best friend is a book. Inside a dog it's too dark to read.
--Groucho Marx
