Un Chien Spinndalu

"Hey, Luis, baby, we love the script. But we'd sell a lot more popcorn if you'd just make a few little changes."

Thanks to Wabewalkr for the log. I’ve removed some greetings, meta-comments, repetition, and spelling corrections, and de-lagged a few jokes... those who prefer greater authenticity should really get a life.

[ Horselover Fat's Page o' SpinnStuff ]

Time out for yet another discussion of Star Wars

Wabewalkr: Superman's Flying Sperm!
Mr_Ben: Kittens on Fire and the Superman Strut
MisterQ: FLYING STEALTH SPERM!
Mr_Ben: EXPLODED WOMEN!
zompist: eeeeeewwwwww.
Mr_Ben: Oh brother, here we go AGAIN!
MisterQ: Women fighting Sperm the size of Elephants
MisterQ: with swords!
Mr_Ben: And fire!
Wabewalkr: And machine-guns!
MisterQ: Dragon Kittens that Breathe fire
sol-D: and midgets riding anacondas wearing tutu's
Mr_Ben: A radio shock jock who sets his sidekick on fire!
zompist: has anyone read the plot summary of the sequel to silence of the lambs? our work here would be an improvement on that.
MisterQ: Gilligan and the Skipper having an epic lightsabre battle
Wabewalkr: Then getting it on! "Come here, li'l buddy! Hehehe!"
MisterQ: Wait, will the midgets wear tutus or the anacondas?
sol-D: both.
Mr_Ben: Kids having a "kicking in the groin contest" that gets way out of control and spreads through the city like wildfire!
Wabewalkr: Setting kittens on fire!
MisterQ: Marshal Law called. Penny Marshal Law, that is.
Mr_Ben: Laverne and Shirley revealed as live-in lesbian lovers!
Wabewalkr: Bruce Willis jumping out of an exploding building for no reason!
MisterQ: Dogs and Cats living together!
sol-D: WITH Richard Simmons as the Beav.
Mr_Ben: Mel Gibson in a car chase for NO REASON at all!
Wabewalkr: Richard Simmons doesn't like beaver.
sol-D: Aliens who take over the world, but no one knows it!
MisterQ: Susan Powter explodes to stop the insanity
sol-D: no, he is the beaver
Da_Raven: Guessing by his hair, at least...
Wabewalkr: Wrestlers wearing sun glasses that allow them to see hidden messages!
Mr_Ben: Congress legalizes school shootings! Thousands of popular jocks and party girls are murdered in two weeks!
Mr_Ben: Wrestlers plummeting to their deaths for no reason!
zompist: geeks finally have sex!
sol-D: with the dead!
MisterQ: Rowdy Roddy Piper saves the world, but this time he hijacks a space ship and gives the mothership a virus
Da_Raven: Whoohoo!
Mr_Ben: With a computer.
Wabewalkr: George Kennedy in a crashing jumbo jet!
sol-D: Mini Me in an epic battle with a vacumn cleaner
zompist: the dalai lama gives the world a message of peace!
Mr_Ben: Punk rockers blow up Louisville, Kentucky!
MisterQ: Ahnold's head rolls across just saying his catch phrase: "Ahhl be baack"
zompist: hillbillies invade beverly hills!
sol-D: Jesus tempting virgins!
Mr_Ben: Hillbillies invade Beverly!
MisterQ: Ahnold's backside walking by itself saying, "Told yaa so"
Wabewalkr: Donald Sutherland playing a scientist that warns of impending doom!
MisterQ: From kittens!
Mr_Ben: Bill Clinton as the womanizing president!
zompist: donald sutherland being infinitely annoying!
Mr_Ben: And only Joel Hodgson can save the world!
zompist: rosanna arquette slims down for the role of her lifetime!
MisterQ: Thanks to computer graphics, we see all the greasy Baldwin brothers together
MisterQ: rosanne barr also slims down to a slender three tons
Wabewalkr: Charlie Sheen playing a misunderstood rebel!
zompist: mike meyers plays four roles, two of which are funny!
Mr_Ben: Tom Arnold as the character nobody takes seriously!
MisterQ: Marlon Brando stars as the latest sea world attraction
zompist: the kid everybody made fun of ends up saving the world!
MisterQ: Martin Short mercifully gets killed in the first five minutes
Mr_Ben: Ann Wilson from Heart as Shamu the killer whale!
MisterQ: On fire!
Mr_Ben: And singing a song about a barracuda.
zompist: megaweapon!
sol-D: WITH A DARING UNDERWATER RESCUE DONE BY GREENDAY..WHO SAVE A DROWNING DOLPHIN
Mr_Ben: Green Day is attacked by Third Eye Blind immediately afterwards!
zompist: children scheme to bring their estranged parents back together!
Mr_Ben: And.....SAMPO!!!!!
zompist: orphans are cute!
zompist: little animals sing and dance!
MisterQ: Until they're stepped on by the Beastie Boys in their Giant Mecca!
Da_Raven: And Bullwinkle! On fire!
Wabewalkr: David Hedison playing the guy whom everybody recognizes but cannot remember his name!
zompist: a man's heart is ripped out by cultists!
Mr_Ben: But one orphan has a dark, dark secret: He's really Bob Barker!
MisterQ: Harrison Ford as Indiana Solo, US President.
sol-D: and no one may have already won 10 million dollars, so they all mass together and pillage lithuania
Mr_Ben: Harrison Ford as the state of Indiana!
Wabewalkr: Twins!
sol-D: twins in a nudist colony
sol-D: on fire
Da_Raven: Fire works on soooo many levels. :)
Mr_Ben: In Europe, a man's shoelace breaks, triggering a nuclear war!
Wabewalkr: Fire... on fire!
zompist: beds... in bed!
MisterQ: Gasp!
Wabewalkr: Farrah Fawcett setting beds on fire!
sol-D: kittens in cats!
Mr_Ben: Dan Rather taking a dump on the newsdesk on LIVE TV!
MisterQ: The Olsen Twins climb out of a dead man's eyeball
zompist: michelle kwan stars as a hong kong cop!
Wabewalkr: Chris Elliot as the Prime Minister of the UK!
zompist: gérard depardieu speaks and no one understands him!
Mr_Ben: And LadyJ still does laundry!
LadyJ: yeah yeah yeah
Mr_Ben: At least that's one consistant plotpoint, that and fire.
MisterQ: What kind of movie music will we have to the LadyJ doing laundry scene?
sol-D: porno
LadyJ: chick a wow wow
sol-D: muzak
Mr_Ben: How 'bout some Republica?
zompist: "a paler shade of white"
Mr_Ben: Garbage might work.
Wabewalkr: Eurythmics!
zompist: rage against the machine
Wabewalkr: LadyJ puts her laundry in bed and sets it on fire!
sol-D: no, no..you put all your clothes in the washer..add soap..and then throw in a match!
Mr_Ben: And then LadyJ struts around like she owns the place.
LadyJ: is that supposed to be a dig, Ben?
Mr_Ben: No, a running joke.
MisterQ: Headlines: News Flash: Billions take their lives as Carrottop proclaimed ruler of the world!
Wabewalkr: Kasey Kasem builds his own nuclear device!
sol-D: with H.R. Giger as the 3rd grade art teacher
Mr_Ben: A group of IRC people spout off band names like no other!
LadyJ: me first and the gimme gimmes
zompist: man, i think there's only one song on this björk album i really like.
MisterQ: Don't lie, you didn't buy the album for the music
zompist: who's lying? i drool over the cover pic.
Mr_Ben: Dr. Seuss unleashes a worldwide plague of wholesomeness!
sol-D: NEGATIVLAND! theme from the big 10-8 place..or soemthing
MisterQ: Dr. Seuss then unleashes a worldwide plauge of ebola!
sol-D: John Linnell kicks an unwholesome amount of ass. Flansy drinks lard.
Mr_Ben: Dr. Seuss then unleashes green eggs and ham onto the world!
Wabewalkr: FULL FRONTAL NUDITY.
sol-D: uh, full frontal nude linnell?
Wabewalkr: Dr. Seuss makes a sequel: Pink peas and spam!
sol-D: Avacado Green corpses be damned
LadyJ: bbiaf
Mr_Ben: Did she just call us "bbiafs"?
Wabewalkr: It's about a chinaman and a toilet -- a chine and a loo.
MisterQ: Dr. Suess rips off his face to reveal that he is, in fact, Dr. Satan!
zompist: who then rips off his face to reveal he is in fact Santa!
Mr_Ben: Dr. Seuss reveals himself to be....Dr. Cuthbertson!
Wabewalkr: Mispronunciations by Macintalk!
MisterQ: Dr. Seuss reveals himself to be Undead!
zompist: a credit sequence with naked women swimming underwater... while a bomb ticks!
MisterQ: Then only her underwear explodes
Mr_Ben: While it's in the drawer.
Wabewalkr: And she turns into a Smurf!
sol-D: she’s not wearing shoes!
MisterQ: Cue porno music for Smurfette in 3...2...
Mr_Ben: "La la la la la laaaaa!"
zompist: smurfette, in her first "nude scene", shows us "all she's got"!
Wabewalkr: Which is... a penis! "She"'s in drag!
MisterQ: Insert Smurfy Gang Bang scene
Mr_Ben: Smurfette gives up her lovin' to Jeffy Keane!
zompist: jeffy??? ouch.
Mr_Ben: And Brainy Smurf waits outside with his pants down and bent over
sol-D: that makes SO much sense
MisterQ: Crossdressy Smurf
zompist: "Jeffy, I'm so smurf that I smurf out with YOU!"
MisterQ: Oh yea, baby. Smurf me all you got. I think I'm going to smurf. Oh Smurf!
Wabewalkr: Smurfette battles the Irish Republican Army!
Wabewalkr: Firing her gun in sync to the music of Boy George!
Mr_Ben: Smurfette organizes a rebel band and invades Muppet Babies!
zompist: ben: nah, you need one side that's sympathetic.
LadyJ: The Irish Republican Army eats Green Eggs and Ham!
MisterQ: Smurfette as Joan of Smurf
Mr_Ben: Smurfette in the Smurf of a Smurftime!
Wabewalkr: Papa Smurf: "Kermit, I am your father!"
MisterQ: Kermit: No, I will not bow down to the Smurf Side!
zompist: kermit: bite me, blue boy!
sol-D: Papa Smurf offers smurf berries to schoolkids..and they accept!
Wabewalkr: Papa Smurf chops of Kermit's head and experiences... the Quickening!
Mr_Ben: Then Fozzie walks in with a bad Jedi joke.
MisterQ: Fozzie touches Jar Jar Binks and explodes in a flash of antimatter
zompist: together at last: fozzie and the fonz!
Mr_Ben: Jar Jar Binks is lynched in a small Alabama town!
LadyJ: Jar Jar and his cousin drive the General Lee over a ravine to escape the spit-slinging Boss Hogg
MisterQ: The Smurfs meet the Snorks and only one will survive the genocidal war
sol-D: but they live in different territories...
zompist: the snuffleupagus accidentally steps on the smurf army, destroying them all!
sol-D: THE SNORKS MELT THE POLAR ICECAPS
zompist: somewhere, soldiers wait... and wait.
Mr_Ben: Gallagher smashes all the Smurfs with Sledge-a-Matic!
LadyJ: The snorks eat mork with sporks, and call orson on ork.
MisterQ: Thousands of smurf clones wait to descend upon unsuspecting villages and do the will of Darth Gargamel
zompist: the red zone returns from the dead... and this time, it's not fooling around!
Mr_Ben: Darth Garga-Maul.
Mr_Ben: Rush Limbaugh destroys the world!
LadyJ: and Gallagher and Azrael plot to smash the smurfs and turn them into gold
LadyJ: Rush Limbaugh eats the world!
sol-D: will johann and peewee save the world in time?
Mr_Ben: With his talent on loan from God.
zompist: only two naïve teenagers survive the catastrophe, without much clothing!
Mr_Ben: And KITTENS ON FIRE!
LadyJ: the two semi-nude teenagers reinvent the comedy of Jerry Lewis
MisterQ: And Screaming Cheetawheelies
Mr_Ben: Jerry Lewis revealed as the Anti-Christ!
MisterQ: Hey pretty Lady! Can I have your soul freunlaven?
Mr_Ben: Ted Kennedy goes three days SOBER! Hell freezes over!
Wabewalkr: Dean Martin revealed to be Christ!
LadyJ: Christ is revealed as wearing clothes that showed off his buttcrack while he was carpentering
zompist: eeeeeeewwwwww.
MisterQ: Jesus returns to Earth, but doesn't have the immunity against the common flu.
Mr_Ben: Jesus returns to Earth and forms a Cheap Trick tribute band.
Wabewalkr: A giant asteroid made entirely from lime Jell-o crashes into the Pacific!
LadyJ: Jesus returns to life, and it is remembered that he has really bad hygiene
MisterQ: Jesus goes on world tour and is corrupted by money and fame and thousands of small plastic surgery operations and becomes a recluse
LadyJ: King Arthur scours the land for the saucer of the Holy Regalia!
Mr_Ben: Jesus tries to follow the Dead.
Wabewalkr: Michael Jackson's nose comes back from the grave to kill us all!
zompist: the knife and the spoon bitterly divorce!
Mr_Ben: King Arthur's wife scours the dishpan and saucer of the Holy Regalia.
zompist: an old mystic offers sage advice!
zompist: black men beat drums!
Mr_Ben: Traffic lights malfunction!
LadyJ: Godzilla rises again and asks for a very very large Pepsi!
zompist: an old witch cackles!
zompist: an old man learns to be young in his heart!
MisterQ: King Arthur uses Excalibur to .... SET KITTENS ON FIRE!
Wabewalkr: virgin sacrifices!
Mr_Ben: Superman continues to strut around!
Mr_Ben: And Spider-Man's with him!
LadyJ: and the popcorn chickie who sells the Pepsi to Godzilla reminds him that for a quarter more, he can have the really freaking huge Pepsi
sol-D: with a glass...errr..
Mr_Ben: A giant glass dildo destroys the city of Fresno!
MisterQ: And the Staypuft marshmellow man becomes an overnight sensation in the world of Pro Golf
zompist: the home team comes from behind to win a great victory!
Wabewalkr: Bill Murray plays a guy with no psychological disorders whatsoever!
Mr_Ben: And another giant glass dildo destroys what's left of Fresno and the first glass dildo!
zompist: the artist lives recklessly and creates great art!
LadyJ: Bert decides to pluck between his brows!
MisterQ: Ernie looses his attraction and runs off with Snuffalupagus
LadyJ: The Starship Enterprise encounters NO SUBSPACE ANOMALIES
Mr_Ben: Historians deny the existance of Wyoming!
zompist: the only state that's a participle.
Wabewalkr: Aliens come and kidnap BEA ARTHUR!
LadyJ: Bea Arthur kidnaps them back!
zompist: danny devito plays a character that's kind of slimy!
MisterQ: In order to graduate, School children have to fight a bear
Mr_Ben: And they all die in Wyoming!
sol-D: they have lunch!
LadyJ: Wyoming is declared a seperate country!
LadyJ: Wyoming invades Utah
Mr_Ben: Children play on railroad tracks and are obliterated by speeding freight trains!
Wabewalkr: California sinks one inch into the sea!
MisterQ: And declares war on Texas
MisterQ: Trains driven by Kittens!
Mr_Ben: Trains from Wyoming!
Wabewalkr: New York is nuked "to get rid of the cockroaches"!
MisterQ: It doesn't work. Cockroaches rebuild city.
LadyJ: Deodorant is found to cause kidney failure!
zompist: suspenseful scenes occur at night in the rain!
LadyJ: Saliva is found to be toxic, but only if swallowed in small amounts, over a long period of time!
Mr_Ben: New Jersey is nuked "to get rid of the assholes"!
Mr_Ben: THAT doesn't work, as the assholes move out west!
zompist: the roaches are back... and this time they're not fooling around!
Wabewalkr: Germany decides to change its image, renames itself "Jennifer"!
Mr_Ben: Roaches show they mean business by setting children and kittens on fire!
sol-D: they have glass dildos!
    sol-D said it... oy gevalt
Mr_Ben: Glass dildos fall on Seattle!
zompist: there's only one hope left... and it involves a long journey involving planes, trains, and a hydrofoil!
LadyJ: New Jersey sinks into the sea, and the people from Atlantic move above the surface!
LadyJ: Atlantis, too
Wabewalkr: One hundred glass dildos crush Bill Gates!
Mr_Ben: New Jersey sinks into the sea and nobody cares!
Wabewalkr: Johnny Quest and Hadji arrive on the scene in a hovercraft!
MisterQ: Luke and Darth have a fight, but this time they use giant plastiglass didldos.
zompist: the One Ring is found, then falls into the garbage disposal!
Mr_Ben: A brave kitten attempts to rescue the ring from the disposal!
zompist: dildo baggins claims the one ring!
MisterQ: heh
LadyJ: The A-Team and MacGuyver are in a pitched battle, and all that's available are pipe cleaners, a pair of nylon stockings, and a toothbrush. Who will win?
Mr_Ben: Dead babies become a popular restraunt attraction!
MisterQ: Dead dancing babies!
Mr_Ben: Calista Flockhart mysteriously gains two hundred pounds!
MisterQ: All in her bosom
Wabewalkr: The epic firefight between the Star Trek red shirts and the Star Wars stormtroopers.
zompist: the rough guy and the prissy schoolmarm fall in love!
sol-D: macguyver builds a time machine with 3 rubber bands, an eyeglass repair kit, and a jack russel terrier named maurice..then single handedly wins WWII
LadyJ: Buckwheat professes his love to Alfalfa
Mr_Ben: Anna Nicole Smith's breasts explode, killing thirty-six people!
MisterQ: Anna inherits their money
zompist: the beautiful girl turns out to have a fatal illness!
Wabewalkr: Whip Cream becomes sentient!
LadyJ: The hovercraft is made of glass dildoes and flaming kittens!
zompist: the hovercraft is full of eels!
MisterQ: homosexual kittens invade!
LadyJ: Whipped Cream invades Wyoming
Wabewalkr: The school nerd saves the day with his laptop!
Mr_Ben: Three men disappear, last seen near the ass of Jennifer Lopez!
zompist: teenagers say that everything either sucks or rules!
Wabewalkr: Anna Nicole Smith's nipples explode with delight!
LadyJ: Woody Harrelson professes his love to Alfalfa!
Wabewalkr: Molly Ringwald plays a perky, upbeat teen!
Mr_Ben: The Rolling Stones celebrate 300 years of rock n' roll with yet ANOTHER world tour!
MisterQ: Alfalfa professes his love to Anna Nicole Smith
sol-D: A small girl re-gains the will to live...AND NO ONE CARES
zompist: peter lorre says something menacingly!
MisterQ: Molly Ringwald declaired Speaker of the house
LadyJ: Anna Nicole Smith rips her face off, revealing cockroaches and exploding kittens!
Mr_Ben: And Bill Gates makes even more money!
zompist: the jets take off, as john williams music plays!
Wabewalkr: A man with a German... er, Jenniferian accent turns out to be completely innocent!
sol-D: a football player goes to jail after reaming Bill gates with a glass err...
MisterQ: The camera pans over a lone ant
LadyJ: The sci fi channel plays shows that have NOTHING TO DO WITH SCI-FI
sol-D: somewhere, another dog barks
MisterQ: And MTV plays videos again!
Wabewalkr: 52 minutes of a crack in the sidewalk!
LadyJ: a shot rings out, a woman screams
zompist: there's a montage of the hero and heroine laughing over dinner, walking in the park, and feeding ducks!
Mr_Ben: Three days of the condor!
LadyJ: andy warhol rolls a joint
Mr_Ben: The ducks become violent and go on a killing spree1
MisterQ: The maltese falcon is found to be actually a malteese dildo
Wabewalkr: CHiPs style freeze-frames during the closing credits!
zompist: through clever video manipulation, jesse helms is made to say "i like to suck cock!"
MisterQ: The General Lee leaps over the Grand Canyon with Thelma and Louise
LadyJ: He-Man and company stand, legs apart, throwing their heads back in laughter
Mr_Ben: Then they explode.
MisterQ: And kittens burst out
MisterQ: like in the movie Alien
zompist: eddie murphy says a bunch of things that aren't really very funny!
Wabewalkr: "And I would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for you meddling kids and your fucking dog!"
Mr_Ben: George Carlin makes even MORE commercials!
MisterQ: A lone Mongoose howls
zompist: keanu reeves smiles... and hell freezes over!
LadyJ: Death points to the Salmon Mousse
zompist: let's try to get the neil gaiman death, not the old guy with the sickle.
Wabewalkr: Death takes a holiday, but loses its wallet.
Mr_Ben: Thousands of people compelled to dance all at once!
Mr_Ben: Bad taste takes a holiday1
MisterQ: Death revealed to actually look like Neil Gaiman envisioned her
Wabewalkr: Death turns out to be Dawn French, after all!
LadyJ: The Romans take a holiday
LadyJ: in france
MisterQ: Country line dancing made a capital offense
zompist: for once, the redshirts survive and captain kirk kicks it!
Mr_Ben: Country music determined to be the leading cause of incest through the South!
zompist: hillbillies mutter darkly and load their ding-dang rifles!
LadyJ: The birth of Christ is found to have been created by George Lucas, which makes sense since the story was unbelievable
Wabewalkr: Hyperintelligent monkeys are given a spacecraft, but spend their time picking lice off each other!
Mr_Ben: Captain Kirk caught engaging in his favorite hobby: setting kittens on fire!
zompist: crazed mongolian hordes mass on the horizon!
MisterQ: CDs start to levitate and chop peoples heads off like miniature sawblades
Mr_Ben: A giant bee attacks Cincinatti!
zompist: disco is back... and this time it's not fooling around!
LadyJ: Baron Munchausen eats Tim the Enchanter
Wabewalkr: Gratuitous Stephen King cameo
Mr_Ben: Disco Demolition Night II!
MisterQ: A dog chewing gum stops Son of Sam
Mr_Ben: Five minutes of nothing but "Don't Fear the Reaper" is heard!
MisterQ: The roof, the roof, the roof is actually on fire
zompist: the perfect murder... except for one thing!
sol-D: a glass superman?
LadyJ: Blue Oyster Cult goes to the Blue Oyster Bar from the Police Academy movies!
zompist: the time travelers avoid death by predicting an eclipse!
Wabewalkr: Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the ketchup...
Mr_Ben: Pluto snaps out of orbit and plunges into the sun!
MisterQ: But die anyway when the eclipse turns out to be an asteroid heading for earth
zompist: stock footage of dinosaurs fighting is inserted for no reason!
Wabewalkr: CLAYMATION!!
Mr_Ben: Stock footage of old women applauding!
zompist: terry gilliam animation!
MisterQ: Whenever Fran Dresher tries to speak, Nicolodeon slime pours out of her mouth
LadyJ: Hemingway admits a penchant for setting kittens on fire while wearing ladies' underwear
MisterQ: As does J Gordon Liddy
Mr_Ben: Sampo determined to be a legitimate substance!
sol-D: lazy underwear runs amuck!
zompist: menudo is back... and this time they're really really old!
LadyJ: Rosie Perez and Fran Drescher have a catfight, with the sound thankfully muted
Wabewalkr: J. Edgar Hoover throws a tupperware party!
MisterQ: In a dress
sol-D: in the nude!
zompist: in bed!
Mr_Ben: On fire!
LadyJ: with cockroaches!
sol-D: in a nude colored bed dress!
Mr_Ben: With Superman in the background!
MisterQ: With superman in the tupperware
Mr_Ben: With dead kittens in them!
zompist: jabba the hutt and smurfette get it on!
MisterQ: Jabba eats smurfette and Princess Leia
LadyJ: the snorks come out of jabba's ass
Mr_Ben: Dom DeLuise is finally taken seriously as an actor!
MisterQ: By portraying Jabba
LadyJ: Marcel Marceau says, "No!"
Wabewalkr: "They said it couldn't be done!"
MisterQ: Marcel Marceau found to have a voice like a schoolgirl
Wabewalkr: "Nobody will be seated during the last ten hours of this movie!"
    sol-D gets her video camera and a hostage list
LadyJ: Barry White and Chef have a mudfight, with the sound thankfully muted
Wabewalkr: Chef? You mean Lenny Harry?
Mr_Ben: Ezekiel Krahlin secretly videotaped with a woman!
zompist: raven's logfile explodes!
MisterQ: Seven audience members vomit, one dies in movie premiere
LadyJ: bbiab, gotta fold clothes
zompist: no one will be seated during the LadyJ clothes-folding sequence
MisterQ: Un Spinnwebe Andalou: this movie will fuck you up for life!
Wabewalkr: Martin Landau on the moon, which leaves orbit!
Mr_Ben: How long is this movie?
zompist: twelve hours and counting...
Wabewalkr: "Just try to keep from dancing out of the theatre!"
MisterQ: A clown sheds a tear... he is out of ammunition
zompist: crocodile dundee is back... and this time he's an alcoholic has-been!
Mr_Ben: World War III is fought with seltzer water and cream pies!
MisterQ: But he has a knife bigger than Jack the ripper’s!
Wabewalkr: Jack the Ripper revealed to be... Queen Victoria!
MisterQ: Jack the Ripper revealed to be a giant bee!
zompist: a giant killer bee!
Wabewalkr: a giant cloned killer bee... from Brazil!
Mr_Ben: Which attacks Wyoming!
MisterQ: With exploding smurfs!
zompist: the hero is shown as a young boy, forced to watch as the evil gang murders his family!
Mr_Ben: Superman destroys the bee by dropping a glass dildo on it!
zompist: clint eastwood utters pithy threats!
Wabewalkr: The movie ends, with nary a hint of a sequel!
sol-D: it shatters!
Wabewalkr: Lot's o' "Combat Quips!"
zompist: the audience goes wild!
Mr_Ben: The audience riots, demanding the movie end!
zompist: the critics are dumbfounded!
sol-D: they all load their complimentary guns!
zompist: a lot of popcorn grease stains the floor!
Wabewalkr: Forty-three babies are born in the theatre during the showing!
Mr_Ben: Roger Ebert gets into a shoving match with his new partner over the movie!
zompist: and they get it on in the projection booth1
MisterQ: End music is the Mortal Kombat song
Mr_Ben: Frank Zappa records six more albums for the soundtrack!
Mr_Ben: A remarkable feat, considering he's been dead for five years!
zompist: i dunno, he's been putting them out pretty steadily.
Wabewalkr: Roger Ebert forced to admit he once described Star Wars as "the death of moviemaking."
Mr_Ben: Roger Ebert grounded from his favorite snack foods!
Wabewalkr: L. Ron Hubbard returns from the grave, admits Scientology "was just a joke."
Mr_Ben: Frank Zappa revealed to have fathered two children named John and Mary!
zompist: the reborn elron is lynched by his followers.
MisterQ: Mulder and Scully investigate some strange occurance, but only find raw uncut cocaine
LadyJ: Beer is declared a vegetable on the food pyramid!
Mr_Ben: Dianetics is made into a weekly UPN series!
MisterQ: With a Wayans brother as the lead
Wabewalkr: Entire cast of Star Trek executed for violating the Prime Directive.
zompist: mulder and scully end up in bed together, but comical hijinx prevent anything happening!
Mr_Ben: Wyoming overrun by Wayans brothers!
MisterQ: Scully wakes up with a glass dildo, unable to remember last night
Wabewalkr: The Olsen Twins are beat to death with dead voles!
zompist: a hideous monster tortures sexually active teenagers!
MisterQ: Capybaras eats the bodies of the olsen twins
Mr_Ben: Ricky Martin crushed to death by over excited 500 pound fan!
LadyJ: The cast of Different Strokes attempts a reunion, but the only alive, unimprisoned cast member is the father!
MisterQ: Sexually active teenagers torture a hideous but innocent monster
zompist: charlton heston is shot with a saturday night special!
zompist: meryl streep attempts one accent too many, chokes to death!
Wabewalkr: Men enslaved by hyperevolved otters!
MisterQ: Sexually active monster torture themselves by commiting adultry..err.. monstrultry
LadyJ: Gay Tigers are thrown out of the zoo
MisterQ: Find new home with Siegfried and Roy
Wabewalkr: Sigfried OR Roy.
zompist: the love that dares not speak its name learns how, and can't shut up!
LadyJ: wahahaha
    LadyJ chokes on her iced tea!
MisterQ: Porn music plays
zompist: on the zither!
    *** Signoff: Mr_Ben: (Read error: 54 (Connection reset by peer))
Wabewalkr: A brunette is described as something other than a "raven-haired beauty."
MisterQ: A blond wins Nobel prize
zompist: a blonde is discovered to be intelligent... but the part is dubbed.
LadyJ: Ben's connection is reset!
LadyJ: Ben argues that no one is his peer
MisterQ: This 'peer' person hunted down like dog
Wabewalkr: Mr Ben's rice is converted... to Catholicism!
LadyJ: Jennifer Tilley loses her voice... and there is much rejoicing!
    *** Mr_Ben has joined channel #spinnwebe
zompist: ben regains his connection!
LadyJ: Ben returns, and is thought to be Christ!
MisterQ: People everywhere shrink to the size of 5 inches tall, but become indestructible
Mr_Ben: Ben smashes his computer with a glass dildo.
zompist: ben is back... and this time he's not fooling around!
Wabewalkr: The entire cast of "Friends" is accidentally frozen in an iceburg!
Mr_Ben: And everyone rejoices!
LadyJ: The flaming kittens know that the freezing was NO ACCIDENT
MisterQ: Undetermined iceburg sent into orbit around Pluto
Wabewalkr: Which is falling into the sun!
Wabewalkr: 10th planet discovered, named "Bernice."
Mr_Ben: Hotel guest forced to drink Canada Dry lemon from a hotel vending machine!
zompist: donald duck is forced to admit that huey, dewey and louie aren't his "nephews"!
MisterQ: Bernice crashes into the sun. Seems to have had a Romeo and Juliet relationship with Pluto
Wabewalkr: Bernicians invade South Dakota!
zompist: the look of '50s monster movies is lovingly recreated with computer animation!
Mr_Ben: U.S. allow Bernicians to KEEP South Dakota!
MisterQ: Daisy duck lays egg. Inside egg is Daisy duck.
LadyJ: South Dakota invades Wyoming!
zompist: villains talk in amusing accents!
Mr_Ben: Forces from Alaska called in!
MisterQ: Bernicians revealed to be clones of Friends cast
Wabewalkr: Daisy Duck sues M.C. Escher for paternity!
LadyJ: Spam is found to contain TOO MUCH FREAKING SODIUM
MisterQ: And is banned on the internet forever
Mr_Ben: ZZ Top shaves their beards, sending Earth plummeting into the sun!
MisterQ: ZZ Top reveals themselves to be Wilson Phillips
LadyJ: The cast of Friends, having morphed into superheroes by their close proximity to the sun, save the planet!
Mr_Ben: Wilson Phillips revealed as actually TALENTED!
LadyJ: Earth grudgingly allows Friends to go on for another season in thanks
MisterQ: Chtuhlu rises from the deep. Wants only to see new Star Wars movie.
Wabewalkr: "My God, it's full of cars!"
zompist: radioactive monsters befriend a young japanese boy named ken!
Wabewalkr: Two words: Johnny Sako!
Mr_Ben: Ric Ocasek marries more supermodels, despite being one ugly mofo!
MisterQ: radioactive monsters eat ken
LadyJ: Hadji professes his love to Johnny Quest
MisterQ: anyone that wants to can now marry supermodel or their clone
Mr_Ben: A spree killer goes on a rampage with a forklift!
zompist: a multi-ethnic unit comes together under fire!
Wabewalkr: "If the hovercraft's a-rockin'..."
sol-D: AYE, I CANNOT-A TAKE ANOTHER MINUTE, CAPTAIN
Mr_Ben: Chicago Cubs sign Christopher Reeve to play second base!
    *** Signoff: sol-D: (but nothing ever changed. that wouldn't be fair.)
zompist: the cubs go on to win the series!
Wabewalkr: A young boy assembles a ragtag group of misfits to defeat a powerful enemy, and loses!
zompist: hell freezes over!
LadyJ: Gene Roddenbury comes back from the grave and shoots the production staff of Earth: Final Conflict before dying again, peacefully
MisterQ: The giant bee attacks Mr. Spock who accidentaly gets teleported with it and switches heads
Mr_Ben: The Cubs win the World Series, and millions set kittens on fire in celebration!
MisterQ: Cajun Kitten delicacy spreads like wildfire
zompist: the team blasts off from its secret fortress in a huge phallic spacecraft!
Mr_Ben: Ned Devine finally wakes up!
Wabewalkr: Godot arrives, explains he was "stuck on the subway."
zompist: ircers amaze themselves with how long they can keep this up!
LadyJ: a Saturday Night Live sketch is made into a movie, AND ISN'T FUNNY
MisterQ: Scientist now give people the option of reproducing over the internet
zompist: bill murray hits "forward", stops reliving his life
Mr_Ben: Bill Murray once again reprises his role as Ken Bowden, storefront lawyer!
Mr_Ben: IRCers begin recycling jokes.
Wabewalkr: Scientists announce the successful cloning of Dolly... Parton!
LadyJ: Richard Gere finally speaks out against the rumors, stating "Goddammit, it wasn't a gerbil, it was a hamster!"
zompist: an old witch makes a prediction... and it turns out to be complete hogwash!
MisterQ: God comes down from heaven to see new Star Wars movie. Leaves with new love interest, Chutulu
zompist: cheech and chong embarrass their families!
Mr_Ben: Elvis spotted in Kalamazoo with a Jar Jar Binks T-shirt on!
LadyJ: someone in America DOESN'T SEE THE NEW STAR WARS MOVIE
MisterQ: New Shakespeare play is found. It starts with the words, 'A Long long time ago, in a galaxy far far away...'
Wabewalkr: Four kids enter chiffron, meet magical creatures. With the help of a powerful magic panther, defeat the Ice Wizard!
Mr_Ben: And then they all get drunk!
MisterQ: and find that they were actually at the zoo
zompist: a porno actor can't perform!
LadyJ: The Playboy channel accidentally shows graphic penetration
Wabewalkr: Millions of teenagers suddenly go celibate!
MisterQ: Apes take over the world.... peacefully through democratic vote.
LadyJ: The candidate from the Green Party gets elected president
Mr_Ben: Jim Morrison posthumously joins Van Halen as its new lead singer!
zompist: insects grow to the size of a house without collapsing on their thin little legs!
LadyJ: a dog barks
zompist: rocket scientists look worried!
Mr_Ben: Glass dildo factory discovered in Iraq!
MisterQ: Led Zepplin and Van Halen join into new band 'Van Zepplin'
zompist: moon unit joins, forming "van zappalin"
MisterQ: Blue Oyster Cult joins, forming 'Van Zappalin Cult'
Wabewalkr: National motto "E Pluribus Unum" replaced with "Whoa, I'm tripping my nutsak in a frenzy of dik play."
LadyJ: the Eagles decide they liked touring, and tour again
zompist: tents are held wher they are!
Wabewalkr: "If this band's a-rocking, ..."
LadyJ: the psychic void waits
MisterQ: Its time had come, but it was sleeping
zompist: bo derek as you've never seen her before... fat, old, and skanky!
Mr_Ben: Someone "furiously urinates".
MisterQ: Prehensile vaginas eat entire town of Kalamazoo
Mr_Ben: Midnight Oil joins, forming Van Midnight Zappalin Cult-Oil.
Wabewalkr: Treasury admits, new $20 bill "just a joke."
LadyJ: the psychic phallus moves slowly... it's come has time.
zompist: gamera turns out not to be the friend of children everywhere!
Mr_Ben: Treasury finally does away with pennies!
LadyJ: apostrophes go on strike because they are overworked and underpaid
Wabewalkr: Penny Marshall declares war on the Treasury Department!
Mr_Ben: Dave Barry writes a serious column and loses his entire readership!
MisterQ: The Thundercats reveal all in new shocking video: Too Hot for Thundera
Mr_Ben: Students flogged after confusing "your" with "you're"!
zompist: rimmer passes his engineer's exam!
Wabewalkr: Lister takes a bath!
MisterQ: Cobra sabotages GI Joe's vehicle ejection seats. Takes over world
Mr_Ben: Another Superman/Spider-Man crossover happens!
zompist: s.p.e.c.t.r.e. decides that its acronym is really stupid!
Wabewalkr: Riddler decides NOT to leave clues... soon is wealthiest man on the planet!
MisterQ: Gadget killed by Mr. Claw
zompist: evil overlords fire their idiot henchmen!
Mr_Ben: Mr. Claw revealed to be Ed Koch!
Wabewalkr: Dr. Doom removes mask, reveals face of Maccauly Calkin!
LadyJ: Dr. Claw goes on a rampage because people aren't using the appropriate honorific
zompist: riddler sues dr. who for stealing one of his question marks!
MisterQ: Superman/Spiderman crossover rated NC-17
zompist: for hot spider-on-super action
Wabewalkr: Aunt May named Superhero of the Year!
Mr_Ben: And Spider-Man is destroyed by another super orgasm!
Mr_Ben: Aunt May revealed to be hot 19-year-old.
LadyJ: time for me to sleep
Mr_Ben: LadyJ goes to bed!
LadyJ: I have a job interview tomorrow
MisterQ: LadyJ hallucinates from sleep deprivation
Mr_Ben: LadyJ gets the job she wants.
    *** Signoff: LadyJ: (Connection reset by Dali)
zompist: hello, dali!
MisterQ: Goodbye, Magritte
Mr_Ben: Goodnight, Moon!
zompist: or, in the keane household, goodnight, boob!
Mr_Ben: (and 1000 others)
MisterQ: goodnight, breast
zompist: man, i haven't used this many exclamation points the whole rest of the year.
Mr_Ben: Exclamation points banned!
MisterQ: WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MisterQ: Morpeus comes for us all
MisterQ: Except instead of throwing sand, he throws bees
zompist: this has been bugging me for half an hour... what is the name of that weird '30s electronic instrument played with the hands?
MisterQ: 30's electronic instrument?
zompist: THEREMIN!!! dammit!
zompist: i've been trying to think of that since the 'mortal kombat' reference.

Meta-discussion on the movie’s title